diogenes club

Here's me reading a thing that I wrote

PenTales is something I have difficulty explaining, so you can read their about page, because they'll do a better job of it than I would. But you don't have to entirely understand what it is to hear me read a short story I wrote for their latest event:

John and Margot

NY Times on Google's translation service

Google's Computer Might Betters Translation Tool

In the article, they admitted that the system "still needed improvement," which any user of Translation Party could have already told you. Translation Party, you see, uses Google Translate to do all of the translation legwork behind the scenes.

Google actually made significant improvements to their system just a few weeks after Translation Party launched, breaking (or fixing, depending on how you look at it) some of our favorite translations. To remedy this, we looked into different, more obscure languages that Google might not have improved as much. After a little testing, we realized that Japanese was still our best bet. We even looked into Microsoft's translation API's. If there's anyone who could really botch a translation up it's Microsoft, right? Unfortunately, in every example we tried, Microsoft did a better job than Google, and most parties ended up with slightly mangled, but still somewhat sensical English. Leave it to Microsoft to do something right when you're counting on them to screw up.

Anyway, a person might argue that it's intellectually dishonest to purposely use the worse API, and that choosing the better one might better illustrate the irreconcilable differences between the two languages. But that person clearly doesn't like to party.

Hey la, hey la, Question Party is back

Question Party, after taking a long hiatus due to lack of hosting, is now back online and just as incomprehensible as ever.

Here's a chart detailing Question Party usage over the years. That spike near the end was due to occasionally telling people about it in the Translation Party success message.

I like making charts.

Carlough Bros: Three Way

The original title was Carlough Bros: Online, but I thought people would be more inclined to watch it if they thought they were going to get something vaguely pornographic.

Two Girls

Part of a continuing series where I play a guy who's mildly perverted and easily annoyed.

This post will make absolutely no sense.

The Insane Clown Posse made a western.

That makes absolutely no sense.

diogenesclub.net is back in google, so you can stop using bing now.

After a movable type upgrade and a lot of carping on google's webmaster forums, the club is being indexed by google again. I'm not really sure what did it, but hopefully we'll be getting some random commenters back here that I can make fun of soon.

(Previously: Google has stopped indexing this site past the home page)

That Sherlock Holmes Red Bull ad is poorly researched, even for a Red Bull ad.

Sherlock Holmes drinks coffee, not tea.

It should be noted that this ad is apparently not licensed by the Doyle estate. Of course, neither is redheadedleague.com or diogenesclub.net, but I won't tell if you don't.

This one's for all you Pokemon lovers out there

See, I had this hilarious idea. There's this pokemon named Abomasnow. You know, like an abominable snowman. It looks like this:

I thought, wouldn't it be hilarious if I made an Obama-snow? I could photoshop Obama's head on the Abomasnow. It would be awesome. I'd be an internet legend. Of course, before I started this incredible project, I googled Obamasnow. Sure enough, someone had beaten me to the punch:

I was heartbroken. But surely there was another pokemon that I could paste a celebrity face onto. I racked my brain. There's this other pokemon called Kangaskhan. It looks like this:

Add a celebrity that I'm not entirely sure what she's famous for but am still relatively sure she's a celebrity and behold:

Kim Kardashian + Kangaskhan = Kim Kardaskhan

You're welcome, internet.

Further proof that I am, in fact, not a snuggie model.

If you didn't believe me the first time, here's more proof:

This is a picture of me and Allen Salkin, writer of the snuggie article for the New York Times, (a paper which I have sonned numerous times) at a recent PenTales event.

Here's me in a trailer for a movie that I'm in, and I hope you like it.

It's called Lasergun, and it's by Victor Varnado, and I think it's going to be good.

The new Red-headed League!

As you may have noticed, my site, redheadedleague.com, looked like it was designed in the late nineties (it was actually the early two-thousands, but whatever) and on top of that, was woefully out of date. Well no more! The extremely talented Richard Boenigk redesigned it and I put all of my more recent stuff on it.

Check it out!

I am a Very Significant Director Person

The iPhone Affair

Starring me, Michael Cyril Creighton, Hannah Bos, and Paul Thureen as The iPhone.

The iPhone Affair

I used to have an iPhone, so this is almost a documentary. Sort of like how Space Jam explains how Michael Jordan quit minor league baseball and started playing basketball again.

If the embed doesn't work, you can watch it here: The iPhone Affair.

If you told me there was a rap video that referenced Back to the Future and Ice Climber, I wouldn't believe you.

And yet here it is.

(link)