diogenes club

Two Girls

Part of a continuing series where I play a guy who's mildly perverted and easily annoyed.

This post will make absolutely no sense.

The Insane Clown Posse made a western.

That makes absolutely no sense.

diogenesclub.net is back in google, so you can stop using bing now.

After a movable type upgrade and a lot of carping on google's webmaster forums, the club is being indexed by google again. I'm not really sure what did it, but hopefully we'll be getting some random commenters back here that I can make fun of soon.

(Previously: Google has stopped indexing this site past the home page)

That Sherlock Holmes Red Bull ad is poorly researched, even for a Red Bull ad.

Sherlock Holmes drinks coffee, not tea.

It should be noted that this ad is apparently not licensed by the Doyle estate. Of course, neither is redheadedleague.com or diogenesclub.net, but I won't tell if you don't.

This one's for all you Pokemon lovers out there

See, I had this hilarious idea. There's this pokemon named Abomasnow. You know, like an abominable snowman. It looks like this:

I thought, wouldn't it be hilarious if I made an Obama-snow? I could photoshop Obama's head on the Abomasnow. It would be awesome. I'd be an internet legend. Of course, before I started this incredible project, I googled Obamasnow. Sure enough, someone had beaten me to the punch:

I was heartbroken. But surely there was another pokemon that I could paste a celebrity face onto. I racked my brain. There's this other pokemon called Kangaskhan. It looks like this:

Add a celebrity that I'm not entirely sure what she's famous for but am still relatively sure she's a celebrity and behold:

Kim Kardashian + Kangaskhan = Kim Kardaskhan

You're welcome, internet.

Further proof that I am, in fact, not a snuggie model.

If you didn't believe me the first time, here's more proof:

This is a picture of me and Allen Salkin, writer of the snuggie article for the New York Times, (a paper which I have sonned numerous times) at a recent PenTales event.

Here's me in a trailer for a movie that I'm in, and I hope you like it.

It's called Lasergun, and it's by Victor Varnado, and I think it's going to be good.

The new Red-headed League!

As you may have noticed, my site, redheadedleague.com, looked like it was designed in the late nineties (it was actually the early two-thousands, but whatever) and on top of that, was woefully out of date. Well no more! The extremely talented Richard Boenigk redesigned it and I put all of my more recent stuff on it.

Check it out!

I am a Very Significant Director Person

The iPhone Affair

Starring me, Michael Cyril Creighton, Hannah Bos, and Paul Thureen as The iPhone.

The iPhone Affair

I used to have an iPhone, so this is almost a documentary. Sort of like how Space Jam explains how Michael Jordan quit minor league baseball and started playing basketball again.

If the embed doesn't work, you can watch it here: The iPhone Affair.

If you told me there was a rap video that referenced Back to the Future and Ice Climber, I wouldn't believe you.

And yet here it is.

(link)

Happy birthday diogenesclub.net!

It's been five years since I made the first post, an innocuous discussion of the usage of y'all. And since then, the innocuousness has kept coming at a slow trickle.

It's a website that few can spell, and even fewer can explain why I chose the name (it's after a dinner club in Sherlock Holmes, not Diogenes the Cynic). Or why it's .net instead of .com (I just liked the ring of it better). It's a blog that started just as blogging started to become passé. It's a way for me to put stuff I do online without having to go to the trouble of updating redheadedleague.com. It's gone through phases of twitter-esque brevity and long-winded, angry movie rants. And it has never shied away from the tough but important topics, like itself.

So what do the next five years hold for the club? Who knows. But thanks for reading, everyone.

LOL is going to be on TV Monday night!

If you like acronyms, you're going to love Comedy Central Monday night at 2:30 AM. My rap video, LOL, is going to be on Atom TV. You can check out what else is going to be on here and if you'd prefer to get to bed at a reasonable hour, you can watch it here.

My cell phone is worth $32,000

It has come to my attention that my cell phone, the Nokia 1100, released in 2003, with its tiny monochrome screen and inability to access the internet may very well be worth $32,000. So laugh all you want, iPhone users, with your piddly sub-ten-grand phones. You might wonder how this came to be. Well, according to wikipedia:

The phone can be programmed to receive messages directed to a different phone number, thus receiving sensitive bank or other data.

Now, this can only be done with a batch made in a factory in Bochum, Germany, and I have no idea whether that's where mine came from, so I'll cut you a deal. I'll start the bidding at $31,000.

Own your own Translation Party!

This is the last thing I'm going to say about Translation Party, I promise.

Now you can buy a t-shirt with whatever party you make! And we make a very small amount of money with each t-shirt you buy, which will make us feel better about the half hour we spent making the site. So get to it!

Let's have a Translation Party!