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March 15, 2011

Hop is more than likely a very bad movie and I shouldn't care about its poster.

And yet, I do. Today on the subway, I saw this poster:

Well, to be honest, it was slightly different, but the thing I cared about was the tagline:

CANDY, CHICKS AND ROCK 'N' ROLL

Here are my thoughts on that tagline:

1) The order is wrong. It's clearly a reference to the song Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll and its appropriation by pop culture to mean cool things done by rock musicians. They just changed the first two things. But if you were going to properly match up the two changed things, I think that candy would match up with drugs, and chicks would match up with sex. That would make it CHICKS, CANDY, AND ROCK 'N' ROLL.
1a) Their tagline is in trochees. Mine is not. I realize that. It's entirely possible they chose theirs for its poetic meter and not to avoid some controversy equating sex with chicks or some other completely arbitrary reason. We'll never know.

2) What's with the all caps? The makers of the poster had already demonstrated their ability to turn off caps lock when talking about who the creators are.

3) I would have liked a comma after CHICKS. I know either is acceptable. It's just my personal preference.

4) Why is one and "AND" and the other and "'N'"?

This movie looks bad. Poke your eyes out with your soda straw bad. I don't know what happens in it. Frankly, I don't want to know. But it looks bad. You know what, I'm going to watch the trailer. Hold on. Feel free to watch it yourself:

Okay, I watched the trailer. It confirmed my suspicions that Hop is, in fact, a bad movie. Here are my thoughts on the trailer:

1) The cast
1a) What's with Russell Brand? Is he only allowed to play rock-related British people?
1b) I'm not mad at James Marsden, but I only know who he is because he was Cyclops in the X-Men movies, and the only reason they cast him as Cyclops in those movies is because he's a kind of unappealing actor, and they wanted to make Wolverine look cooler.

2) E.B. (I had assumed the character's name was Hop, but apparently I was wrong) doesn't know what a car is, but he knows what insurance companies are and the fact that one would leave them out of an incident involving cars.

3) Where did he get a carrot that size? Bugs Bunny, for whatever reason, was a human sized bunny. E.B. is not, and baby carrots don't look like that.

4) You can't play Rock Band drums on more than easy without being able to reach the bass pedal.

5) What are those chicks even doing? I guess that was the best scene with the chicks they could find, and they had to put them in so they could say the tagline.

6) That lady from Big Bang Theory is borderline psychotic the way she freaks out when she sees a stuffed animal on a couch and proceeds to hug and caress it and talk about how fun it is hugging and caressing it.

In closing, let me say that I will never see Hop. Okay, I probably will. I just watched Big Momma's House 3, I'll see anything. But Big Mommas a better tagline:

Momma's got back-up.

I have no qualms with that. All right, fine, I do. I wouldn't have used the hyphen.

Posted by Will at March 15, 2011 9:47 PM

Comments

I believe the use of the "N" in place of "AND" is to make Rock n' Roll a compact item.

The way it's listed in the poster, it lists
1. Candy
2. Chicks
3. Rock n' Roll

But the two AND would've potentially sounded like the rock and the roll as two separate things.

That is: Candy, chicks and rock and roll

1. Candy
2. Chicks
3. Rock
4. Roll

* * *

I definitely hear what you're saying about "Chicks, Candy and rock n' roll" but If you say it aloud, and compare the choices, you'll probably agree that "Candy, Chicks and Rock n' Roll" sounds better. The syllables measure out and make a closer approximation of the source material. Especially if it's sort of sung to the tune of the song.

Candy = Sex and

Chicks = drugs

and rock n' roll = and rock n' roll

VS.

Chicks = Sex

Candy = and drugs

and rock n' roll = and rock n' roll


The second way sounds clumsy.


* * *

I'm so glad you write the stuff you write.

Posted by: Kevin at March 15, 2011 11:25 PM

Kevin, thank you for your thoughtful post. I daresay it's the best comment the club has ever gotten.

However, were they looking for parity with the original song (which I'm almost positive they weren't, because who's heard of Ian Dury), there are three ands to worry about. There's the first 'and' that makes 'candy' match up with 'sex and'. But there are two other ands. And the third 'and' ( the "'n'" in the song) is just us annunciated as the first two. This could have been solved with an ampersand. In fact, it might be the only reason that the ampersand was invented. Maybe I just have a problem with "'n'", it just looks stupid to me.

Posted by: Will at March 15, 2011 11:43 PM

I'm not sure they do know how to turn the capslock off. It looks to me like they talked about the creators in all caps and then got scared and used the change case feature. You're not supposed to capitalize The when you're talking about The Creators. Or Of. Or A. Come to think about it, none of that should have been capitalized. It's not a title, it's just a sentence. Didn't they go to middle school? Didn't their teachers make them diagram sentences?

I'm embarrassed for myself for writing this, but I'm more embarrassed for The Creators Of The Film.

Good morning!


Blogs!

Posted by: sydney at March 16, 2011 9:42 AM