March 31, 2011
I guessed the surprise ending of Sucker Punch and it's stupid.
Here is the trailer for Sucker Punch:
Can you guess what the mysterious fifth thing is? I'll give you a moment.
You ready? It's herself. The fifth item in that list of things that sounds like a bunch of stupid, random things you have to find in a video game to get to the next level is actually herself. That was the first thing I guessed when I first saw the trailer and I was right. That movie is bad.
March 30, 2011
Today I saw a guy on the Brooklyn Bridge riding a bike and smoking a cigar.
And then I ate an McGriddle. The end.
March 23, 2011
I synched my iPod yesterday and for some reason, the only song left on it was this
What could I do but leave it on repeat all day?
March 18, 2011
I put facebook comments on this blog and I forgot why.
Facebook recently released a way for a regular old blog like diogenes club to have its commenting system implemented and stored by facebook. If you scroll down and you're logged into facebook, you might very well see a picture of yourself next to the comment box and the option to post your comment on facebook.
Will, why did you do this, you might ask. I already told you, I forgot. It may have started with me being annoyed that when I would link here on facebook, some people would comment on facebook, and some people would comment here. (Or, more likely, no one would comment at all.) This doesn't actually fix this since comments on something I post on facebook won't show up here in the new way either. It would help with comment spam, except I had already squashed it entirely by making people type "yeah" into a box before they commented.
There is an option to blacklist certain keywords and to automatically correct common grammar mistakes, but I've turned both of them off, because what's the point of commenting on the internet if you can't swear and use bad grammar?
A lot of real blogs have started using facebook comments with the idea that it would increase civility because people need to use their real name. Those people clearly don't know how to create a fake facebook profile. It isn't hard.
So, in short, I handed over control of my blog to a guy whose only motivation is impressing his ex-girlfriend from college. For absolutely no reason.
PS: I also put a like button on everything cause fuck it.
March 15, 2011
Hop is more than likely a very bad movie and I shouldn't care about its poster.
And yet, I do. Today on the subway, I saw this poster:
Well, to be honest, it was slightly different, but the thing I cared about was the tagline:
CANDY, CHICKS AND ROCK 'N' ROLL
Here are my thoughts on that tagline:
1) The order is wrong. It's clearly a reference to the song Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll and its appropriation by pop culture to mean cool things done by rock musicians. They just changed the first two things. But if you were going to properly match up the two changed things, I think that candy would match up with drugs, and chicks would match up with sex. That would make it CHICKS, CANDY, AND ROCK 'N' ROLL.
1a) Their tagline is in trochees. Mine is not. I realize that. It's entirely possible they chose theirs for its poetic meter and not to avoid some controversy equating sex with chicks or some other completely arbitrary reason. We'll never know.
2) What's with the all caps? The makers of the poster had already demonstrated their ability to turn off caps lock when talking about who the creators are.
3) I would have liked a comma after CHICKS. I know either is acceptable. It's just my personal preference.
4) Why is one and "AND" and the other and "'N'"?
This movie looks bad. Poke your eyes out with your soda straw bad. I don't know what happens in it. Frankly, I don't want to know. But it looks bad. You know what, I'm going to watch the trailer. Hold on. Feel free to watch it yourself:
Okay, I watched the trailer. It confirmed my suspicions that Hop is, in fact, a bad movie. Here are my thoughts on the trailer:
1) The cast
1a) What's with Russell Brand? Is he only allowed to play rock-related British people?
1b) I'm not mad at James Marsden, but I only know who he is because he was Cyclops in the X-Men movies, and the only reason they cast him as Cyclops in those movies is because he's a kind of unappealing actor, and they wanted to make Wolverine look cooler.
2) E.B. (I had assumed the character's name was Hop, but apparently I was wrong) doesn't know what a car is, but he knows what insurance companies are and the fact that one would leave them out of an incident involving cars.
3) Where did he get a carrot that size? Bugs Bunny, for whatever reason, was a human sized bunny. E.B. is not, and baby carrots don't look like that.
4) You can't play Rock Band drums on more than easy without being able to reach the bass pedal.
5) What are those chicks even doing? I guess that was the best scene with the chicks they could find, and they had to put them in so they could say the tagline.
6) That lady from Big Bang Theory is borderline psychotic the way she freaks out when she sees a stuffed animal on a couch and proceeds to hug and caress it and talk about how fun it is hugging and caressing it.
In closing, let me say that I will never see Hop. Okay, I probably will. I just watched Big Momma's House 3, I'll see anything. But Big Mommas a better tagline:
Momma's got back-up.
I have no qualms with that. All right, fine, I do. I wouldn't have used the hyphen.
March 11, 2011
Do you remember when a British teenager sent me a cease and desist letter?
It was a while ago, I'd understand if you didn't.
Here, you can refresh your memory:
Now, almost six years later, thecorpse.com is no more. It's been taken over by one of those people who can apparently make money putting ads on domains that no one goes to.
What remains? Well, their my space profile still exists. And if you really want to, you can browse archive.org for all of your sonning needs, but I wouldn't if I were you.
March 9, 2011
WTF Obama wrap up
So it's about time I talk about whatthefuckhasobamadonesofar.com here. Well past about time, really. I posted a bunch of things about it to facebook at the time, just because it's so easy, so all you clubbers out there are getting the news a little after the fact, but you can rejoice in that you're getting it all in one fell swoop.
Shortly before election day, my friend Shavanna texted me with the idea to make a site listing all of Obama's accomplishments in the style of whatthefuckismysocialmediastrategy.com. (Credit where credit's due, as far as I know, whatthefuckshouldimakefordinner.com was the first site like this.) I made a quick prototype and sent it off to Rick, co-creator of Translation Party, and within a few hours, we had a site. We posted it to facebook and twitter and a few friends. Cas, the creator of Crying While Eating and Internets Celebrities actually had the idea to change the sarcastic quip every time, which kills me, because I had done that with both Question Party and Translation Party, and it would have never occurred to me to do it for this.
It started spreading pretty quickly, mostly just because of people passing it along to their friends, but a few big names gave us a link too. Most notably:
I have to say, Carrie Fisher was very exciting, because now if I ever see her at a party, I'll have something to say to her besides, "Hey, you're Princess Leia."
We got to do some interviews. We decided to do email interviews instead of phone interviews, so it would be easier to sound clever. We did ones for:
We also made it into the New York Magazine Approval Matrix, which marks the third time I've been in the magazine in some form or another, not that I'm counting.
And then we got our biggest plug from Michael Moore, who mentioned us in an interview with Lawrence O'Donnell on MSNBC, which led to us being interviewed on the same show a few days later. No more email interviews for us, we were going to have to sound clever on the spot. I think it could have gone a lot worse:
So there you go, a few hours of work, and a small internet sensation. If only it were always that easy.