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December 19, 2010

Fuck you, Andy Carvin. You are a fucking idiot. Tron sucks. Admit it.

Andy Carvin is Senior Strategist at NPR. He wrote this article:

What The Critics Don't Get About Tron

Don't bother clicking that link, I'm going to break down how stupid Andy's article is, paragraph by paragraph.

If you put a bunch of film critics in a room and ask what they think of the movie Tron: Legacy, you're likely to get a dismissive shrug. The film is already drawing mixed reviews. Just don't tell that to the tens of thousands of fans on Twitter eager to attend Friday's premiere.

Critics have seen the movie. The knuckleheads on twitter haven't.

Andy goes on to talk about the original Tron:

We obsessed over the video game version - so much so I remember a coder friend of mine spent an entire day with me and my nine-year-old brother programming a rudimentary version of the "light cycle" game from the movie on an IBM PC.

So what you're saying is, you, your brother, and some other kid spent a day messing around with a computer.

Other friends took a crack at making a Dungeons and Dragons-like roleplaying game out of Tron. (No need to mention I was a nerd; I've come to terms with that.) We spent weeks trying to come up with the rules for the game, albeit not very successfully.

All right, for one thing, I'm sick of people coming out as nerds. I saw Jennifer Love Hewitt come out on Letterman or something as a nerd. There's no shame in being a nerd anymore, people are proud of it. People who aren't nerds say they're nerds. It means nothing. I'll tell you what else. My friends and I worked on a roleplaying game for Gummi Bears. Yeah, that's right, the Disney Afternoon cartoon. Does that mean that Gummi Bears is underrated? No, it means we were teenagers with a lot of time on our hands, and they had already made roleplaying games for everything else we thought was cool.

We knew it wasn't a perfect film, but we loved its technological wizardry nonetheless. In that respect, Tron was the Avatar of its time.

I won't argue with you that Tron was a technological innovation. It was the first feature film to use computer generated imagery. I'll tell you what else was a technological innovation. The Jazz Singer, the first feature film to use sound. If you don't know why that's an unflattering comparison, do a google image search for "jazz singer." It's a bit extreme to compare Tron to The Jazz Singer, but my point is, technological innovation does not a good movie make.

Now it's easy to dismiss the original Tron because of its meager box office draw when it came out in 1982.

He goes on to talk about how it was a box office disappointment. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that it was savaged by critics as well.

But that doesn't mean it didn't leave a lasting legacy, as it were.

Yeah, they just made a movie out of Marmaduke. Marmaduke. Literally no one likes Marmaduke. I defy you to find me someone who likes Marmaduke. But Hollywood is so desperate for ideas right now, they'll salvage any old idea that the public has a vague recollection of, and Tron seemed like a reasonable candidate. That's why we have a Yogi Bear movie too.

He talks about Tron's wikipedia entry:

Tron, meanwhile, is 3,600 words long and has received over 1,700 edits... So despite the fact that critics are dismissive of Tron, its fans have lovingly documented it on Wikipedia with almost as much intensity as E.T.'s fans.

Check out how many edits Power Rangers has on wikipedia.

Now let's talk buzz for a moment. One would assume that a sequel to a "flop" would generate little enthusiasm among the public. If you look at Twitter, though, that hasn't been the case. Twitter has become a fairly accurate barometer of how people feel about a film.

Disney, one of the biggest entertainment corporations in the world, has spent the last three years promoting this movie. Of course it's popular on twitter. It's popular with people who haven't seen the movie yet, and probably haven't seen the original, because Disney has let the original Tron go out of print so people won't remember how bad it was.

So critics, bring on those reviews. We don't care if either Tron film is mediocre from your perspective.

This is the same kind logic used by people who like Transformers 2: Secret of the Ooze, or whatever it's called. "I don't care what critics think, I saw some stuff blow up, and it made like a bazillion dollars, so anyone who doesn't like it is an effete snob who only likes black and white French movies."

As pretty as Tron and Tron Legacy are, they're not good movies. I wish they were, but they're not. Stop pretending they are.

Posted by Will at 6:44 AM | Comments (1)

December 16, 2010

OK Go, you do not know what a translation party is.

Translation Party: OK Go! « Universal Subtitles

Posted by Will at 6:44 AM | Comments ()

I just edited the wikipedia entry for Karate Kat

His catchphrase was "I'm lean, I'm mean, a karate machine. Kee-yow," not "I'm lean, I'm mean, I'm a karate machine. Kee-yow," as wikipedia previously claimed.

You're welcome.


Posted by Will at 5:38 AM | Comments ()