December 11, 2008
Pay attention, Congress and auto industry, while I do your jobs for you
I figured out how to solve the auto industry's financial problems.* The government needs to ban car advertising.
I don't watch much tv, but whenever I turn it on, I'm inundated with ads for V8 engines and 0% APR financing and a bunch of other things I don't understand or want to understand. People buy cars when they need cars. I don't think there are that many people that buy cars just because the new model has another cup holder. Having ads for cars is like having ads for indoor plumbing and heat. People are going to buy them no matter what. And I'm sure car companies are spending more money on ads than they're going to save making their CEOs fly coach.
The only reason Ford needs to buy ads is because if they didn't, Chrysler would buy some, and everyone would want to get a Chrysler. They've been forced into this ridiculous advertising arms race that no one can ever win, and if we don't stop it, we'll eventually have to start selling ad space on our foreheads. So Congress has to act and save the industry from themselves, and save everyone from having to watch car ads.
Then we can go back to watching ads for fast food and prescription drugs.
* I probably didn't figure out how to solve the auto industry's financial problems.
December 8, 2008
They said it couldn't be done
But I'm playing a penis on tv tonight. I'm pretty sure I'm not the first live action penis on basic cable. But how about the first red-headed penis on basic cable? Maybe.
You can read all about it and what else is on the show here.