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October 10, 2006

Comment Roundup

My friend Dan once told me, "Will, your blog is my favorite blog that's not about anything." He then reconsidered and said, "No, you know what, it is about something. It's about itself." That was at a time where I basically just posted about having a blog, listed weird search terms that got people here, and made fun of people who made stupid comments. So I've been letting random stupid comments slide for a while, but no more. I give you Comment Roundup.

The most popular post I've ever made was one sentence about Ashlee Simpson's latest album, I am me. There are a lot of great ones there, so I urge you to check them all out, but this is my favorite, because I think the person who wrote it actually thinks that this is Ashlee's blog:

my comment is that your new album especialy track one and four and twelve are special. i really do like you
Posted by: reem at January 19, 2006 10:14 AM

Here's a comment that I got from someone who calls himself John when I wrote that Slate article about video game movies. I'll do a running commentary, his comment in italics, my own comments not.

No, no, no!

"Alone in the Dark" was a PC-game released in the early 90's. In fact, it was immensly huge at the time it came out. So when the article writer managed to proclaim this:

"What system did Alone in the Dark come out on, Atari Jaguar?"

.. he lost all the stock he had built up with me through an otherwise very amusing article.

Wow. I lost all the stock I had built up with some anonymous guy on the internet. What have I done. A lot of people were mad that I wasn't familiar with Alone in the Dark, and took it upon themselves to answer my (rhetorical) question of what system it came out on. And let me say, that if I had cared what system it was for (which, keep in mind, I didn't and still don't), I probably could have spent five seconds typing "alone in the dark" into a search engine and finding out for myself. He continues:

PPS! Having watched all movies based on videogames is nothing to brag about.

Neither is your expertise on the Alone in the Dark series.

Try having watched all movies based on comics too!


This next one is probably the first informative comment from a stranger this site has ever seen. It was on the subject of a Bazooka Joe comic that didn't make any sense and whether the people who make Bazooka Joe comics care about anything at all.:

Actually, that comic is reproduced (and poorly cropped) from an earlier Bazooka Joe comic. In the original, Mort is indeed sitting behind the lady.
Posted by: Bazooka Bob at July 1, 2006 05:18 PM

Well, case closed then. The people who make Bazooka Joe comics do care about something, the people who reproduce them don't. You can check out his site, Bubble Gum Comics for more information.

This next one is weird. Remember the stuff about the grammar of the Trimspa ad? Well, here's a comment that showed up about five months after I first posted it:

Trimspa and Anna. What a perfect pair! Neither one is anything special, but with enough hype they both make plenty of money from the fat, lazy and bored. Be envied by whom?

Posted by: Paul at April 30, 2005 05:46 PM

Now, normally that post wouldn't be notable enough to make it to comment roundup, but then, over a year later:

Trimspa, or "Suckerspa", exists to make money for Alex Goen and family. Diet and exercise are the best ways to lose fat. Save your money and do what works!

Posted by: Last Voice of Reason at May 31, 2006 02:21 AM

That's the same guy, despite the clever new name. (He used the same email address.) Yes, a year went by, and he felt he had to find diogenes club again and share more wisdom about the ills of Trimspa. I googled the front half of his email address, nederpaul, and it lead me to a page where he brags about spells he can cast to win the lottery. I've copied the page here, because it'll probably disappear. I wonder if that's why he doesn't need Trimspa, he just magics all his fat away.

Speaking of magic, here's a comment from a post about everybody's favorite magician, the Pope! It's a long comment, you can read it for yourself, but here are some highlights:

I can no longer stand and see such disgusting comments. my dear Joe the post you posted on October 24, 2005 07:09 PM was very immature of you.... If you read trough history you will realise that it is th Catholic church that is the real church the rest I am sorry to tell you are indeed a fake... When a Martin Luther realised he should make his own church because he disagreed with the catholic priests doing this. He had no power from Christ to be a priest. because he was not given the power by the previous bishops! and Cardinals!!

It's funny, I always kind of assume that Christians have pretty much gotten stuff sorted out internally and have been able to focus all their damnation and stuff on other religions, so congratulations to 'Rev.Fr.James Marco' as he calls himself, for really bringing it back to the dark ages. He actually googled 'stupid pope' just so he could write all that.

So, we're getting near the end of the roundup, although there are some more good ones you can check out for yourself on that pope one and the Margaret Cho one, thanks to the fact that that post is number one in google's rankings for 'margaret cho sucks.'

The thing that ties most of these comments together is that they really don't even seem to grasp the basic gist of the original post, but this last one takes the cake, from my summary of an Insane Clown Posse message board argument:

Of Course There R True Los N Lettes Out Their....i Mean Their Is Tons Of Juggahos But The True Juggalos R Easy 2 Spot They Have Love 4 The Fam No Matter Wut N They Kno Their Psychopathic Shit Mmfcl Ninjas
Posted by: majick_ninjette at March 13, 2006 11:27 PM

Ninjette's right. There is tons of Juggahos.

Posted by Will at October 10, 2006 3:01 PM


i think you made up all those ashlee comments.
hey your pic is at nerve.com, under top 5 favorite youtube videos.

Posted by: sassy and jane at October 14, 2006 2:15 PM