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June 28, 2005

It's official

My life is pointless.

Posted by Will at 11:09 AM | Comments (3)

June 25, 2005

Some knock knock jokes

I came up with these in Washington, DC after a show with The Hazzards, all in a row:

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Guess who?
I give up.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The who?
Is a band that I like.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fuck who?
Fuck you.

There you go.

Posted by Will at 10:29 PM | Comments (7)

June 22, 2005

And people say I haven't done anything with my life

But who's on the C-List at Blogebrity, answer me that.

Posted by Will at 10:31 AM | Comments (2)

June 16, 2005

Thecorpse.com strikes back

After my reverse sonnage, thecorpse.com found my summary of the event and posted in the comments, which you can see here down at the bottom, but to save you the trouble of clicking the link, it goes something like this:

Posted by: HEAT at June 16, 2005 10:27 PM

I think this is the guy who made the comment, judging by the vaguely similar username and his penchant for all caps. If that's the case, you can check out his seizure inducing website and read his post about how he sympathizes with R. Kelly.

I could go on, but you know, it's too easy to make fun of thecorpse.com It's just too damn easy. It was fun that first time, but doing it again would be like punching a sleeping toddler in the nuts. The good people at somethingawful have done a more than ample job of making fun of the site if you really need a thecorpse.com fix.

In the time it took me to write this up, another corpse.com'er found the site and posted a much friendlier comment. I think we've all learned a lesson here. And the lesson is, I don't know, be yourself.

Update: You can now read their thoughts on my thoughts on the matter. They've also been making themselves heard in the the comments of this post and the original one. I've deleted one, by 'white devil' who just copy and pasted 'FAG FAGGOT' a hundred times, but I'll leave the rest in the interest of open discourse, as long as they use more than two words and a couple lowercase letters.

Posted by Will at 10:45 PM | Comments (10)

Quoth batfan417...

I wrote up another big "Ways to tell a movie is bad" piece, but lost it in a browser crash. That'll show me. Anyway, in lieu of that, I'll give you my favorite reaction to Robin's Big Date so far, from batfan417:


Posted by Will at 6:09 PM | Comments ()

June 12, 2005

I'm sure you all get as much or more spam than I do, but I thought I'd share this.

And I may be naive, but I'm almost positive this isn't true.

Female club readers, feel free to correct me.

Posted by Will at 12:42 AM | Comments (3)

June 10, 2005

Show me a dumber press release, I dare you


Posted by Will at 4:23 PM | Comments ()

June 6, 2005

Deep Throat, and how I almost could have sort of known who he was if I had been paying attention

I usually don't keep up with the news. I saw a documentary about the 2003 Columbia crash a few nights ago, and up until halfway through, I thought they were talking about the Challenger, as I had no recollection of the Columbia at all. I was unemployed when it happened, but still. Anyway, I don't follow the news much, but all this Deep Throat stuff has got me hooked. All that sneaking around they talk about reminds me of those weird scenes in Double Indemnity where Fred MacMurray and Barbara Stanwyck stand in the grocery store and conspicuously talk to each other, staring straight forward or awkwardly inspecting a can of baby food.

But here's where I can add a small amount to the Deep Throat mythos. I went to college with a guy named Jacob Bernstein. Arty Vassar students that we were, we cared more about the fact that his mother was Nora Ephron than who his father was. His father, as you may have guessed, was Carl Bernstein. To make a long story short, an anonymous source who knew Jacob better than I did told me the other night that Jacob was known to occasionally blurt out Deep Throat's identity (the correct one, I'm told), except that no one knew who that was, or cared, or believed him anyway.

The moral of this story is left as an exercise for the reader.

Update: I'm even more ill-informed than previously thought. Apparently everybody already knew this but me. See the comments for more. Thanks to Dan for ruining my fun.

Posted by Will at 3:23 PM | Comments (6)