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May 10, 2005

You are an idiot, Phil Finney

I know you're all expecting more on The Bat-man, but I've got to get this off my chest. As some of you may know, I started a band after Conquistador broke up called The US Patent Office. I came up with the name, I thought it was funny, and no, I didn't know that there was a band called The Postal Service at the time. We're for the most part defunct now, but I keep the site up and running just because I can. Much to my surprise, I got an email today through the contact page on the uspo site. It read:

I have U.S.patent# 5711608
I believe maintenance fee is due soon. Can I pay this directly to U.S.P.O.?
What is the fee.? Is there a form for this?
Sincerely; P.F, Finney

I assumed this was some kind of joke at first, but just for kicks, I googled patent 5711608. I was surprised that Google knew I was looking for patents and provided me a direct link to the actual government US Patent Office record, but that's a whole different story. You can look at the patent itself, maybe it holds the key to this enormous practical joke that's being played on me, but it was too boring for me to finish and find out.

I then googled the guy's email address and it seemed like the owner of that address was the owner of the patent in question (I also found out his first name is Phil). Could this guy really have thought that our web site was for registering and renewing patents? Let's take a look at the logs to get an idea of how this all went down:

09/May/2005:16:12:17 - Phil clicks from a yahoo search on uspo onto our site.
09/May/2005:16:12:37 - Twenty seconds later, he clicks the contact link. At this point, you should seriously look at our site. It really doesn't look like a government agency.
09/May/2005:16:19:07 - It takes him about seven minutes to draft that message, it probably took him six of those to figure out how to fit in all the weird punctuation.

And our story comes to a close there. Was this for real? Maybe. But, no, it couldn't be. But if it was, Phil Finney, you are truly an idiot.

Posted by Will at May 10, 2005 2:56 AM


shouldnt you be standing in a line to see star wars, dork?
phil finney

Posted by: togo at May 11, 2005 1:53 AM

Big talk from someone posting on a blog. Using... a computer!

Posted by: Will at May 11, 2005 12:38 PM