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January 7, 2005

Judge not, etc.

A few nights ago, I had met up with some friends, and ended up taking the L home around eleven or twelve. The tracks were under construction, which meant I was in for a long wait. I didn't have a book with me, so all I had to do was pace and look at other people waiting for the train. After a while, a couple showed up. The woman was kind of dumpy looking, unremarkable other than the clutch purse she had that said Scorpio, which I assume was her sign. The man was what caught my attention, he had a glasses that were the shape and size of a state trooper's sunglasses, a big cowboy hat, jeans tucked into his boots, and a coat with tassles that were as long as his forearms.

Now, I usually try not to judge people for what they wear, mostly out of a vague fear of what people might think of my wardrobe, but I instantly pegged this guy as a larper. For those of you unfamiliar with larping, it's like Dungeons and Dragons except you put on outfits and act it out in the woods somewhere. (Disclosure: Yes, I played D&D in high school.) Thinking about it some more, I decided that the guy probably wasn't actually a larper, that'd be too easy, but I'd bet that he had friends who were, and diamonds to donuts he had some other weird thing that he did, like being a furry or something.

I overheard him telling the woman about how the L was notorious for late night construction, in an attempt, I assumed, to impress her with his knowledge of the city. Wow, you know about the L train? Garsh! Tell me all about it, what's it like in the morning? What about like late afternoon? Fascinating! When the train finally showed up, he got close to it as it slowed down and made like he was stopping it himself. Haw haw, asshole, why don't you pull a quarter out of the girl's ear too.

I was enjoying feeling superior to this guy, so I decided to get as close as possible to the couple on the train to eavesdrop some more. And what should we stand next to but that Anna Nicole Smith Trimspan ad. He proceeded to point out the main problems with the ad that I had pointed out in this post.

Oh fuck. At first I hoped that he was just an avid reader of Diogenes Club, but that probably wasn't the case. I thought I was so clever with my Anna ad critique, but here was this idiot, spouting out the same stuff.

So you're probably saying to yourself, well Will, you got what you deserved. You played D&D in high school, and you ramble on about the L train sometimes, and there you were judging him, calling the kettle black as it were, and now you're surprised when he comes up with the same observations as you.

I suppose. So I learned a lesson. When you're waiting for the train, bring a book.

Posted by Will at January 7, 2005 5:32 PM