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December 28, 2004

I minored in math at college

Let's take the old saying, comedy is tragedy plus time.

c = r + t where c is comedy, r is tragedy, and t is time.

Subtract c.

0 = r + t -c

Subtract t.

-t = r - c

As you can see, tragedy minus comedy is negative time. Yes, I just invented time travel.

Posted by Will at 4:26 AM | Comments (3)

December 27, 2004

The Christmas entry

My impression of the Christmas episode of every sitcom ever:

Santa Claus isn't real... Or is he?

Merry Christmas or whatever, everybody.

Posted by Will at 2:16 AM | Comments (2)

December 18, 2004

Assorted thoughts

I'm a real blogger now, I have comment spam.

Often when I'm reading an email from a friend, I will subconsciously read the letter in the voice of the person who wrote it. Is that a natural human thing to do, or do I do it just because it happens in movies? On a related note, I once had a dream that I had become six inches tall, but my imagination could only picture me with 70's-esque bad superimposition lines around me.

The Hazzards just release their first EP, So Pretty. I play drums, trumpet, and sax on it. I think it's good. For some reason, we also played in the subway last weekend, and made seventy-five dollars in two hours. Now, the girls probably pull in more money than the average guy playing an annoying two-string eastern instrument, but let it be known, if you can sing and play an instrument, you could probably learn a couple popular tunes and make more money than you do at your current job.

And man, do I not get this.

Posted by Will at 6:39 AM | Comments ()

December 7, 2004

Me, green leotards, and The Hazzards

I've been trying to think of a way to craft this post into looking like something other than shameless self promotion, but is it what it is, so:

The Hazzards, those two lovely uke playing girls that I back up on the drums are going to be playing a free show at Galapagos in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Joining us will be The Daily Show's Ed Helm's bluegrass band - The Lonesome Trio (who knew) and the Sugar Jets.

And if that weren't enough, I'll also be opening up the show with Children with Hands. I'll be wearing green leotards, playing a character that I haven't played since a kindergarten play I cowrote with my classmates. How about that.

WEDNESDAY, 12/8
The Hazzards' Wednesday Night Makeout Party
Galapagos
70 North 6th Street btwn. Kent and Wythe
Williamsburg, Brooklyn
10pm
FREE!

Hope to see you all there.

Posted by Will at 6:51 PM | Comments (1)

All right, you can stop hitting refresh now

Occasionally, diogenesclub.net will come up in polite conversation with a friend. They usually say something to the effect of, "Yeah, I used to check it, but you don't update it every day." To which I reply, "Well, you should subscribe to my rss feed." To which they reply with a blank stare. Explaining rss to someone unfamiliar with it is like explaining email to my grandfather. Even if you can get him to understand what it is, you still are going to have a job convincing him he should use it.

A note to my coworkers and anyone reading this in an rss reader, you can pretty much mark this is as read, I'm just going to be preaching to the choir here.

So rss. I won't bore you with the Webster's definition of it or what it stands for or anything, you can look that up yourself. But rss basically solves a big problem for people trying to waste time at work when their boss isn't looking: Sites like this one don't update every day. And it's an exercise in disappointment to come here and have that same old story about The Will Show staring you in the face all the time. In short, rss tells you when a site updates.

Rss didn't click with me for a long time. (So it tells me if a site updates, so what, I can figure that out by going to it.) That is, until Thunderbird, an email client, came with its own rss reader. It finally made sense. It's just like getting an email. I can give Thunderbird the address of a site, and it's like the site emails me every time it updates. It appears right next to my inbox, with the title of the article where the subject would be, and a brief summary below. You can then read the article, mark it is read, and it'll remember that you've read that article next time you look. (Keep in mind that you don't have to use Thunderbird to use rss, more on that later.)

But Will, you might be saying, your blog is the only blog I read. It's not worth the trouble for me.

First, I'd like to compliment you on your discriminating taste. Second, I'd wager nine out of ten of the sites you read, be it Salon, The New York Times, Slate, or BBC News publish rss feeds too. Often times, a quick google search can find a feed for sites that don't publish their own like Ain't it Cool News. So with your rss reader, you can browse the headlines of Times without having to look at ads trying to trick you into seeing that sucky new movie, Closer, and never have to browse the same headline twice.

So after I figured this all out, I installed rss readers on the three computers I use on a regular basis, and it was pretty sweet, until I realized that I could mark an article as read on one machine, and the other two machines would still think it was unread. Imagine marking every message in your inbox as read every time you check it. It blew. That's when I found out about Bloglines.

Hold on Will, I kind of followed you on the email comparison, but now I'm going to a web site to see if another web site is updated? That's stupid.

I know, I know it seems stupid. Here's why it's not:

First, it's one site instead of how ever many sites you read. Take a look at this guy's list, and it starts to make sense. Checking all of those sites for updates all the time would take more time than I'm usually trying to waste.
Second, regardless of what browser you're using, there's a bloglines notifier. The Firefox version is a little B that sits politely in the corner until there's an update, at which point it gets a little red dot that you can click on and go straight to see what sites have updated.

So, there you go, rss, na na. Most of the time I'm pretty indifferent to whether people are using technologies that I like (as a Mac and Linux user, it's a necessary defense mechanism). But there are only so many movies I can post and trivial things I can complain about, and I wouldn't want you all to forget about little ol' diogenesclub.net just because I'm a little slow on the draw sometimes.

Posted by Will at 12:54 AM | Comments (8)