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October 16, 2004

You have a friend at White Castle

When I was considering shaving my beard into a mustache, my friend Erik Sofge told me that during the period that he had one, he met a number of people who thought he was an asshole and then later confided to him that it was partially because he had had a mustache. So Will, you might ask, why did you grow one and what does that have to do with White Castle? I'll answer one of those questions.

I went to see Bishop Allen with my good friends, The Hazzards, and there I noticed someone else with a mustache. My distaste for him was instant. Yes, I am constantly judging complete strangers. Yes, it was because of the mustache. Yes, I am a hypocrite.

So, a couple of beers later, I found myself wandering back to my apartment, kind of drunk, kind of hungry, when what did I see but the local White Castle. How could I resist. In line, I noticed that that mustache guy was there. Some crazy woman was talking some gibberish about how she went to college to be a social worker and how she was going to hire a hitman. Or something. The mustache man and I exchanged bemused looks. His friend was ordering and was short twenty some cents. I happened to be fumbling with a quarter in my pocket, so I offered it to him. "You were at the Bishop Allen show, weren't you," I said. "Yeah. Come have a seat with us," he responded.

So, after I ordered the six pack, fries, and a Sprite, I decided to take him up on the offer. What did I have to lose. They seemed considerably more sane than the woman who was going to hire the hitman. My six pack was almost too much to handle. A regular burger, cheeseburger, jalapeno burger, chicken sandwich, bacon cheeseburger, and the piece de resistance, the dreaded fish burger. I ate it all, somehow.

But more importantly, the two guys and I started chatting about girlfriends and bands and what have you. I genuinely enjoyed our chat. They were both well over thirty, which kind of blew my mind - I'd like to think that showing up to White Castle drunk on a weekday is a habit I'll break by the time I'm in my thirties. One of the employees offered us a surplus of biscuits. There were two boxes, so one of my new friends offered it to the girls seated nearby, who I hadn't really taken much note of until now.

One of the girls was really cute and really drunk, and she told us she didn't want biscuits, she wanted water. My new friend told her all he had was biscuits. He then complimented her on her boots, and then sat back down. White Castle, the great equalizer. She may be hot and dressed up all nice, but when it all comes down to it, she's just another drunk at White Castle.

Anyway, we finished up our burgers, shook hands and parted ways. One of their names was Dan, I forget which one. I'll probably never see them again. But we'll always have White Castle.

Posted by Will at October 16, 2004 1:44 AM